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“the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something”
“the prevention of the progress, success, or fulfillment of something”

  There is a quote that appears to be from an anonymous source that refers to “frustration” and I think it defines the way I feel better than anything that I can come up with myself, and it simply says “I can’t tell if it is killing me or making me stronger”.

  In just a few months I will be in my 70th revolution around the sun, so I must presume that from the absence of the demise of my existence, by all accounts is quite healthy and strong.

  In my pursuit to try to understand my frustration and to identify what it is that is frustrating me, and has been for the past 50 years I came across another word (in the UB, more on that later) that helped me come to some resolution, and that word is “curiosity”.

  I returned from Southeast Asia when I was 20 years old and I can honestly state that is when my curiosity began and put me on the road that I am still on to this day.

  Why the human race is so hell bent on trying to kill each other? The year I was there, 1968, saw 16,592 young men shipped home to their loved ones, the most of all the years in that conflict. Many time I could have been counted in that number of casualties. Many times I’ve ask myself why I wasn’t?

  I ask a young Baptist Minister this question early on that was sent by a friend, and he said he would get back with me. Never saw him again!

  I joined a 7th day Church, much like the 7th day Church that Dr. Sadler was involved in during his early years. We were quite familiar with Ellen White and her teachings. This sustained me for many years and I do not regret my involvement with them. I learned a great deal from the study of the Old and New Testament that I still value today. But in the end, they still could not answer my questions.

  I read some of the Torah ,some of the Talmud, some of the Quran and others. Looked at what Carl Sagan, Emanual Velikovsky, Noam Chomsky, and many other great minds and what they had to say.

  And then one day, quite by accident while talking to my older brother on the phone he asked if I’d had ever heard of a Dr. Sadler and the Urantia book? That was about 5 years ago. Well, I can state without a doubt, that is the day that changed my life! That started me on my “new” journey that answered every question that I’ve ever had and ones that I didn’t know to ask. It explained who Jesus was, his mission, and what “HIS” true Gospel (Good News) is. What is “HIS” true Gospel? The Truth!
182:1.9 I am the way, the truth, and the life.

  This is the point where I have to ask myself a serious question, and I don’t know if I’m going to like what I find out, but I am more than willing to live with the answer.

  Why did it take me so long to find the Truth? Why was the UB held back from me for so long? Was it waiting on something in me to grow? My education? I could have very easily been a part of the early UB group. Did they not want me there? To be honest, I am not the least bit disappointed to have missed those turbulent years! And there is no amount of argument that can convince me that the Revelators watching did so with anything less than disappointment! I am sure there are reasons and one day I’m again sure they will let me know.

  I know that I ask the hard questions, of myself and of others. The world cannot hide or ignore the “Truth” much longer!

  My curiosity and frustrations have taken me down many roads, and where I find myself now is quite alright with me. My commitment is made!

  I know I started this post out on the word “frustration” but I’m going to end on the word “curiosity”.

14:5.11 Curiosity—the spirit of investigation, the urge of discovery, the drive of exploration—is a part of the inborn and divine endowment of evolutionary space creatures. These natural impulses were not given you merely to be frustrated and repressed. True, these ambitious urges must frequently be restrained during your short life on earth, disappointment must be often experienced, but they are to be fully realized and gloriously gratified during the long ages to come.

Rickey H. Crosby (Petitor Veritatis)